Nov 13, 2015


We had Tucker's parent-teacher conference a few nights ago, and then took him to John's Incredible Pizza to meet up with friends for buffet and games because he had such an awesome report.  This is he and I posing for a pic that night.

Nov 10, 2015

Food Lately

I'm working on getting back in the habit of blog minded thinking, and I am definitely getting back in the habit of Paleo-ish eating.  For November the plan is paleo during the work week and sugar and grain free on the weekends, and I'm rocking it and have lost about eight pounds so far.

Paleo Orange Chicken with Cauliflower Rice, labor intensive but delicious

Feeling very "basic" with kale chips and kombucha

Paleo Meatloaf, mashed sweet potatoes, and green beans

My almost every day breakfast, eggs with veggies, topped with guacamole

This weekend's treat was paleo shortcake with strawberries and whipped heavy cream with stevia.  Not quite paleo because of the cream but still sugar and grain free and so good.  So good.

Greek chicken salad for a stay-in and play video games date night with Richard

Nov 5, 2015


I'm back!

I'm down two front teeth and up nine screws and two plates in my ankle. I'm slowly becoming a bionic woman.

I've started therapy for my anxiety issues. I'm exploring relaxation techniques, like meditation and guided body relaxation.  I've always been very forgiving and supportive of others, but hard on myself.  I am working on turning that forgiveness and support around on myself, giving up negative self talk and cutting toxic people out.

I took one class at the local college this semester and it's gone so well I am taking two next semester. I got a new laptop and prescription reading glasses and a cute new tote bag, so clearly I'm a college student.

I've lost some friends that weren't there for me when the proverbial shit hit the fan, and I've gained some amazing friends who were there for me despite barely knowing me.

I've made a plan to walk three times a week and do yoga three times a week to start rebuilding tone and muscle.

I've made a plan to get my diet back on track, returning to Paleo. For November, I am Paleo during the week and grain and sugar free on weekends.  For December, I am going to try to be pretty close to Whole 30 compliant on weekdays and Paleo on weekends, and on January 2, I begin a Whole 30.  Thanksgiving, my birthday, Christmas, and New Years Eve are exceptions.

I'm trying to be more present for Tucker, who has started fourth grade and is exhausting me with his genius and eagerness to learn and join.  He joined band, signed up for the school TedX team, and enrolled in weekend coding and chess.  He is in the gifted program, reading at an eighth grade level, is friends with everyone in the school, and this week they announced the most complete in terms of their math program for the year, by grade.  He was announced as the fourth grade furthest (at 51% complete) and then was the overall furthest in the whole school.  In his spare time he is learning to play Dungeons and Dragons (we have a new player group going, it's me and three children with three seasoned players leading us), playing Terraria, and coding online.  He simply doesn't have time to be going to after school "extended day" daycare, and I want to encourage him in all his pursuits, so....

In order to make room for all the new things I'm doing, and all the things Tucker is doing, I am cutting some hours at work starting in January after Christmas break.

My goal is to find a balance, to include eating and moving and learning and mothering and loving and healing and working and incorporate all the responsible things I need to do with all the wonderful things I want to do and really let my authentic self shine through without apology, and blog about it because I miss this, I miss having a space to just share my thoughts and progress and map out my plans, and I miss writing.

It's time to replenish.

Apr 26, 2015

Hike 3 of 52 - Airlifted

Two weeks ago Richard, Tucker and I set out on an easy rated trail to get my third hike in.

It was a lovely morning, and things started off very serene.

The trail went through some groves and past some sights and then basically wound around this valley, going up for the first half and then down for the second, but nothing too steep or crazy.

The trail was pretty well-maintained.

We had completed most of the hike, when I slipped a little in the dirt and fell on the trail.

Just a little slip, this is basically right where I landed, but when I got done chuckling and tried to get up I realized I couldn't put weight on my ankle.

We ended up having to call 911 and wait for emergency services.  I was laughing with embarrassment and the surreal nature of the situation.

Rich was in contact back and forth with emergency services, helping them contact us.  Pretty soon this helicopter started circling above.

This guy hopped off the helicopter and Richard led him to wear I was sheepishly sitting.

Then there was a whole lot of fuss over me, and the conclusion that I would have to be lifted by harness and raised into the copter because it couldn't land where I was and I couldn't get to it.  It was a pretty amazing ride, and I actually forgot all about my pain for a while as I dangled above the canyon and then went for my first helicopter ride.  It landed in a street that had been closed by police, and I was put on a stretcher and loaded into an ambulance for transport to the hospital.  Somewhere on the ambulance ride I started to REALLY feel the pain.  The emt gave me morphine, but I never felt any relief.  The pain just got worse and worse.

they got an IV in me, got me to the ER, and tranferred me to a wheelchair where I sat for hours while the pain continued to escalate.  Nobody would give me anything more for the pain because I had supposedly had morphine in the ambulance, but honestly, never felt a single give in the pain.

By now, my foot was starting to swell.  They did xrays, and once those came back and they realized the severity of my injuries things started to move faster.  I was told I had broken my ankle in several places and it was dislocated.  Then I was informed I would need surgery, and that it would be a while for the surgery but in the meantime they would put me in twilight sleep and set my ankle so at least my pain would lessen.

They did, and it did.  Although still in a lot of pain, it was much more manageable once my ankle was popped into place.  Then they moved me from one hospital bed to another to go to pre-op and managed to RE dislocate my ankle.  Suddenly I was shaking from the pain again, and a quick xray determined yep, it was out of socket again.  They decided to reset it in surgery since the broken bones weren't keeping it in place, and that's the last thing I remember until I woke up in post op.

My new ankle.
I am not allowed to put any weight on my ankle at all for four weeks, will be off work potentially for up to two months, and basically am bed ridden.  I hop to the bathroom on one foot with the use of a walker, need as much care as a newborn baby, and have to hop down my steps and crawl up them to go anywhere, and I have a wheelchair for outings, which are few and far between. Needless to say, the 52 hikes in 52 weeks is indefinitely suspended!

Apr 8, 2015

The Road Home

I drove the first leg of the trip home while my kids got some more sleep.  I'd had very little sleep myself, and as the dark countryside rolled by and I reflected on the weekend I started forming some prose in my head.

When we stopped eventually and Jack took over driving for a bit, I needed to get the words out so I typed them into a facebook status to remember.

The road took me home because her laughter mixed with mine is the best wellness elixir there is. Because he went north and I went south and it's been twenty one years since we were both pulled home at once. Because there's comfort in so many old friends and familiar faces. Because this son is about to leave the nest and inspires me to return to mine, and because that son had never played in the creek who's stream had watered his mother, soaking through the roots of my bare feet as i grew into a woman and left this place, and because it settles my soul to see it all still there, and reassured, I now leave it behind and take the road back to the blessed life I've built elsewhere until the grapevines of my girlhood twist around me, tug at my heart, and pull me back again.

After three days of nonstop being on my feet, a day on my ass in the car caused my feet to swell up like a pregnant woman!

That's how you break in a new car!  My grill is covered with bugs, thanks to the central California farmland.  I'm planning another trip very soon, because I've realized how therapeutic these trips are for me.  I tend to be very controlling, and always have a plan.  Taking a trip in which I don't have much of a plan seems to allow me to give up control, I loosen up and when I do, I remember who I think I really am under all this anxiety, how I crave adventure and how I'm wild and free and I need periods of time in which I am not being tamed, in which I can roam free and come home relaxed and in more control of myself having given up my control of my surroundings and those around me.

Apr 7, 2015

Hike 2 of 52 - Armstrong Woods

On our last day in Sonoma, I drove my kids an hour or so to Armstrong Woods, the local Redwood forest.  Tucker has been clamoring to see the redwoods, and I promised him I would take him.

In every picture you'll notice Tucker is giving a thumbs up and nodding his head.  At one point I started to take his picture and he went into this, and told me it's his signature pose.  Oh, that kid.

After the Redwoods we zipped over to Petaluma to tour Gina's work and go to lunch at her favorite spot, Native Kitchen. We shared a cheeseboard, then got lunch. I had a wellness elixir and a salad, and then we got a Starbucks and headed back to Sonoma.

It was our last night, and we headed to the square for dinner at Burgers and Vine.

I like to try new things, so I got a duck burger.  It was pretty good, and the goat cheese on it was delicious.  I also got truffle fries, which were okay as far as truffle fries go.

Back at Gina's, we relaxed and packed up.  Josh came over with dominoes and we played until almost one in the morning.  I didn't want to say goodnight and goodbye and go to bed, because that would mean it was over!  I did plan on getting up at 4:30 in the morning, though, so we finally had to call it a night!